If You Want to Succeed With Dating, Treat Each New Date As If You Are a Beginner
They think it demonstrates how”good” they are; how”in demand” they’re.
But then, the”end-result” is frequently no-relationship, no genuine intimacy, no long term serious and meaningful bond.
Whether you go out on many dates or not; if you’re selective or not, if you sincerely want to find a partner with whom to create a healthy and satisfying intimacy, there’s one lesson you may want to bear in mind: Always act in your dates as though you’re a beginner.
Let me clarify what I mean:
In case you’ve been going on dates for quite a while now, you may have noticed it is easy and comfortable for you to always act in your dates in precisely the same way you’ve behaved on previous dates. You think you know what you may expect; you believe you already know the”rules of the game”: after all, you’ve”done” it a couple of times (if not more), so now you’ve got another chance, another dating apps free, another individual to match – oh well,”another one”: simple!
But this is precisely the lesson you will need to learn: so long as you approach a new date at precisely the same manner you’ve approached previous ones there’s no reason to think that in the end of the meeting you’ll be one step ahead of where you’ve been on previous dates and have a much better opportunity for something meaningful to develop.
The reason being, that in case you feel that after having gone on a lot of dates dating is becoming a regular,”one more individual to fulfill”, you do not give yourself the chance to really be there with complete attention; being capable to sense exactly what goes on between you and another individual. And such an attitude is counterproductive to achievement in the creation of a severe intimacy.
Treat every new date like you are a newcomer
If you truly and honestly want to get a partner with whom to create a serious relationship, then you need to go on dates feeling as though you’re just beginning, treating each and every new date as though it’s a new adventure; seriously trying to get to know the person that you meet; paying attention to your own reactions and behaviours. It’s only then you will be authentic – with yourself and with your date; and it’s only then that you will care for your date with respect and dignity; and it’s only then that you’ll carefully listen to whatever your dates tell you about himself/herself.
And it’s only then you will have the ability to sensibly consider whether it is reasonable to try extending the date into another meeting, hopefully resulting in a future meaningful romantic relationship.